By Edyan Firth*, Monterey Trail High School, October 22, 2025
In life, we all face some sort of challenge. Big or small, we have all gone through things. For me, one of my biggest obstacles in life was my father. In times of need, he never showed up and always made false promises. At SASF Strive for Strength, I was taught how to manage my feelings appropriately and how to approach uncomfortable situations without lashing out or acting irrationally. At times, I would fall asleep crying, wondering why my dad swore he would come to my Christmas festival to watch me dance, but for some reason, he never came. Waking up with puffy eyes, I would go to school tired, barely able to concentrate on what the teacher was saying.
Over the years, he didn't really get better at being there for us. My family and I were struggling financially a year ago. My mom's health was declining, and my stepdad was going to be out of town for a while, making him unable to take care of us. When finally having the courage to reach out to my dad, I was taken aback because he did seem very sympathetic and very worried and said he would come down from L.A. to Sacramento to be here for me and my brother. To no one's surprise, after a couple of weeks of him texting us, it was radio silent, and we didn't hear from him for months.
Every day, I would try my best to make sure my mom didn't need anything before leaving for school, waking my brother up every morning so he could have enough time to get ready, making breakfast for us and once home finishing all my homework and chores so my mom wouldn't worry too much about the house being a mess. As time progressed, I started going to sleep later and missing assignments, which started to pile up. I still did everything I needed to but stopped focusing on my schoolwork as much. I would stay up completing assignments and only getting a couple hours of sleep. Luckily for me, summer was just around the corner, and I wouldn't have to stress myself out anymore.
About one month ago, when my mom first asked me about signing up for the SASF/Sacramento Youth Center 8 Dimensions of Wellness Program, I was interested in the fact that I would get 50 dollars at the end of it. At the same time, I was also nervous about going because I knew other kids my age would be there. Though I told myself it would be ok and that I would make the best of it. Now, having attended the last four sessions, I've realized that I could have done things way better. First, I should've managed my time better. Not procrastinating on my work and prioritizing my sleep. Another thing is that I hadn't talked to anyone about the things that were happening, so I had everything bottled up and ended up blaming myself for other people's actions. Learning to understand the fact that I can't control my father's decisions, and it wasn't my fault for him not showing up. I did what I thought was best, which was to reach out to him about my situation.
Having learned some ways to move on from negative experiences, I now talk my feelings out with someone I really trust. I've distanced myself from people, like my dad and those who don’t bring any purpose to my life. I have also started using the 5-4-3-2-1 coping technique that I have found very useful ever since I learned about it in the SASF Strive for Strength program. In my opinion, I do feel like the program has helped me a lot and has definitely taught me steps to getting better and moving on with life.
* A pseudonym
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